Blog

Wow! It’s been a while. A LOT of things have happened since the last time I wrote back in October. Last you heard from me I was living in Chicago. I had just moved into my own apartment and was feeling VERY stressed out. I was worried I had made the wrong decision and was worried about the judgement I would face if I came back home. Well, fast forward to now. I am back in Michigan. I feel no judgment or shame moving back home. I did what was right for me and actually people praised me for trying something new and putting myself out there.

I moved back home in November, so I was only in Chicago for about two months. The stress, anxiety, and the PTSD I was experiencing was just too much for me. I was having really bad paranoia attacks from being in an unfamiliar place by myself and was always worried someone was following me and I swear I would check to see if my apartment door was locked about 20 times a day. I ended up having to increase my medications significantly just to get myself through a day. I was also having nightmares consistently and horrible flashbacks from my trauma. All the stress was just too much for me.

My family and I took a trip to Dauphin Island, AL and when we got back, I just never left my parents’ house. I made the decision to break my lease and a month later my parents and I went to Chicago to get my stuff and now I’m a Michigander once again. I lived with my parents for about six months while I got myself together. Thanks mom and dad! During those six months I discovered something called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). I’m not quite sure how to describe the experience I had with this therapy but what I can tell you is I no longer have PTSD. I am also no longer on medication.

I now live in a new apartment halfway in between my sister (brother-in-law and nephew) and my parents. I live on my own (with Stella, of course) and am doing pretty well. While I no longer have PTSD or any paranoia, I still have some anxiety here and there but overall, things are going well.

This month marks six years since my trauma. This is the first year I haven’t had a total melt down. I have had a bit of anxiety and a nightmare or two but nothing major. I am so proud of myself and how far I have come. I am so glad I am here today to share all of my experiences and I hope my words help someone else too.

I hope to get back into the swing of things and post more often. Keep an eye out for more updates from me!