Blog

You may have noticed I haven’t posted in a few weeks. If you didn’t, hey! Pay attention! Over the holiday I was back in the psychiatric hospital. A different one than last time, this one being much better than the previous. I related more to the people in this hospital which was very refreshing.  I got my medications changed again and was set up with a psychiatrist to see on a regular basis to keep my medicine straight.

So why was I in the hospital, again? Well, the good news is I did not attempt suicide this time. I was having extreme anxiety from a trigger, that I figured out later, and was having suicidal thoughts from. Instead of acting upon those thoughts, I reached out to my mom and sister and got help.

What was the trigger? I went to a friend’s new apartment and had a few glasses of wine. This friend was male and I felt tipsy after the wine and we were alone. He was kind enough to let me stay there instead of driving home after I’d been drinking. That next day I slept all day. This mimicked what had happened at the actual trauma. This is no way at all the fault of my friend. He did absolutely nothing wrong. It’s a friend I have known for a while, so I didn’t even think twice about going over there. I think if I went there and drinking wasn’t involved I would have been fine. Now I know. You live and you learn.

Lately, I have been feeling depressed and just tired. All I want to do is sleep, which is why I haven’t been writing. When I was in the hospital they put me on 2 new medications, so hopefully those will start making me feel better! Unfortunately, some of the medicine I take makes me more tired, so it’s hard to want to do anything and it’s also hard for me to concentrate. I’m hoping when I see the psychiatrist they straighten everything out for me.

Along with going to the hospital, I also had the flu this week (I can’t catch a break). Which has really put me out of routine and my Herbalife challenge has suffered from it. I am still trying to eat healthy and pay attention to what I’m putting in my mouth, but I don’t think I’m losing any weight. Hopefully I didn’t gain any! More on that next week.

Overall, I’m doing ok. Pushing through and trying to stay positive. I know I will get better eventually and I know it is going to take work, but I am willing to put that work in and better myself. I know it will all work out in the end. Positive thoughts, positive mind, positive life.